The talk(s)
by Twister88
Summary: Ups, I had to write some more. No longer an one-shot. Missing scenes and unsaid stuff from the revival. Predictable ending, but it s about how we get there :)
1. Chapter 1 -updated

**AN: I had to write some more. I think it was Nick Holmes who said on Twitter that there was a scene on which they talked about Robert and Logan and stuff and that made me came up with this. This scene takes place in between of "Summer" and "Fall".**

 **NB: this is not my native language, and I do not live in a English speaking country. I am sorry for the inevitable mistakes in grammar and vocabulary. I hope it doesn't bother you too much.**

August 2016, London, UK

"Hey, over here!", he hears Finn yell over the loud music. He makes his way over to a booth in the back of the pub, while trying to balance 3 pints of Guinness in his hands. He sets the pints onto the table and greets his best friends. "Finally we managed to get together ", Finn rejoices and sits down. "It's been a way too long!" Logan agrees. "And I can't believe you had to drag our mate Colin by the ear to join us, away from his domestic duties!".

"You'll understand one day, mate. I hope you'll do, since having a kid is the best thing in the world. I try to finish work fast and to get home early every day, but still I'm afraid I'll miss something.." Colin sighs and checks his mobile for the third time in 10 minutes. "Relax, man, I'm sure Steph and baby Alice will be just fine at the hotel," Logan snaps, a bit annoyed and jealous at the same time. While Colin and Finn dive into a talk about the proper age to start soccer practices, Logan stays silent. His friends seem to settle down one by one, and there is something in their new lives with kids, houses and birthday parties that makes him feel left out. Even Finn of all people, had settled down and became a father a year ago – he is in an open relationship with multiple partners, but still.

He sees his friends have it all, a blooming career and a real home to go home to. But for him, things seem to stay still. Almost like no time passed at all. He stares the foam on his beer and dives into memories once again. _Stop, stop this needs to stop! I decided this would have to end!_

He is startled by a tuck on his arm. "Wake up, Logan!", Finn says next to him, getting up to greet a new arrival. "Oh hello Robert, glad you made it too!" Logan stretches out his hand and shakes Roberts. "What's up?", he asks Robert. "Nothing new really, all work!", Robert answers. "And you? Still keeping two balls in the air?" Logan goes uncharacterically silent. "Not your business actually. Can't we talk about something else? A round of poker, anyone?" he tries to distract his best friends with an activity neither of them usually declines. Finn stares him from across the table. "You are so not getting out of this. What the fuck happened with Rory?" he asks, visibly upset.

"I really don't want to talk about her right now, Finn", Logan says and tries to catch a waiter to get more drinks. "Well you'll gonna have to because I'm not letting you bury this. Talk!", Finn demands.

Colin and Robert lean back a bit. Finn is usually kind and compassionate, funny and loyal, and they have never seen him quite this angry. Logan stares the pack of cards for a while. Ace of Hearts at the top of it, as always. His good luck charm. Old habits die hard.

"Fine. I got tired of waiting for her, so I asked Odette to move in. She did, Ace found out. We ended it. That's all. Shall we play?" His question is answered with a stunned silence. "You did what?! Don't tell me you didn't talk to Rory first about this? So she found out AFTER she moved in?!" Finn was beyond angry. "What the fuck I'm supposed to do here, Finn?" It was Logan's time to yell. "Every fucking time I try to talk to her she just goes like 'Vegas Vegas Vegas...' I can't do that anymore. I just can't. You of all people know how long I have waited for her. First those long years without seeing her and then during this stupid Vegas shit. I am done." Logan stares his fingers and plays with that very card as Finns anger fades into sympathy and pity.

"So you finally decided to move on then?" he asks. "Yeah. I figured I need to give someone else a shot. I can't cling in the past anymore. I have never found anyone like her, but guess what? I have never really tried. I must stop comparing every woman I meet to Ace, " he sighs. "And now, there is this nice girl who fits my world, my parents adore her, and for some reason she wants to marry me. Me! So I'm thinking, it's the time to move on and try to make it work with Odette."

"Do you love her then?" Colin asks and Logan snorts. "Not yet, but I think I will. Eventually. One day. After I have gotten Rory out of my system it will be easy. _I need somebody to love,_ someone who actually wants what I want. A real home. Kids. All that shit you guys have. And I want give HPG its next generation one day. Our parents always pushed us to fulfil their dynastic plan, and now I'm thinking it may not be that bad after all. What's so wrong about that, ha?". He gets agitated and defensive at the stare of this oldest friend.

"Nothing, mate. But are you absolutely sure about Rory? You didn't talk did you? I don't want you to end it with uncertainty, Logan. Surely you don't either.", Finn says. "Yeah , what if it's that Tarantino party all over again...", Robert says. "Robert stay out of this will you?", Logan glares at Robert. "No I won't. You almost spoiled by birthday party at Yale. You both came there with different people but you both really wanted to be together. And then you almost broke my nose.." Robert continues, trying to make a point. "Guys don't. I know you mean well but i have given up. I caved. I want to let go. I have to."

"What you have to do is go and talk to her. You will never let her really go unless you hear it from her. And what if Robert is right? I have seen you two together, I'm sure she loves you but is somehow lost. What if you end it for no reason? Can you really live without really knowing what she feels? C'mon, don't be a coward, Logan!", Finn pleads. "Ha, how do you expect me to make her talk now? She never talks to me, not really. Not anymore." Logan tries to tell them to leave it but it's too late, a plan is already formulating in Finn's hayry brain. "I know how to get people talk! We'll get her drunk!"

The rest of the evening is spend reassuring Logan and planning a perfect LDB event. In the process of planning the boys manage to get so drunk that Colin forgets he is in London with left handed traffic, is hit by a red bus while crossing a street, breaks his left knee and ends up on an operating table.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN; This is the original one shot, with only a few corrected words**

 **Takes place at the inn in New** Hampshire, **September 2016**

Later, much later that night, they lay in each others arms in that beautiful room. Her head resting on his chest, his other hand playing with her hair and the other holding her hand firmly. The inn had gone silent as the boys downstairs had finally ended their never-ending poker game.

The two lay silent, just marveling the feel of the other, the feeling of being at home for the first time since spring. The inevitable discussion makes the air thick with anticipation. Both are waiting for the other speak up first, both fearing what the other would say.

"So why did you come?", she asks finally, striking his chest gently. "I told you, I didn't like how we left things", he sighs. "There are so many things we haven't talked about, Ace". She feels his heart beat a bit faster, his hands restless, the coldness creeping into the room. "Vegas, remember?" she asks, but in her heart she knows it is too late for lies. "Surely you must have some reason to drag me all the way here. Why New Hampshire, Logan? There are places to stay closer to my home. Why waste all that time driving here?". The silence falls again. He continues to play with her hair, and she tries to memorize how his touch makes her feel alive.

"You really have no idea, have you?" He asks softly, kissing her temple over and over again. To him it is so clear that it is hard to believe she doesn't get it. This night must happen at this place, there is really no other place like this. "I doubt I'll get any more sleep this time than the last time I was here." he admits, his mind going back to that confusing night all those lifetimes ago.

"You've been here before?" she asks, still wondering his reasons. "So have you, Ace. Didn't you recognize the woods we drove through?" He, for sure, won't forget this place. "No, really, I didn't" she says, wondering why it is so important for him to be here of all the places.

"It's been a while since we were here. The first LDB event you covered, remember?" he reminds her, a bit taken a back to the fact that he has to remind her of the incident that changed him for good. "Oh it was here? Really, Logan, you brought me here?" she startles and is frozen by the direction that the talk was going to. "Ace, really, you never wondered from where did we get all the food and the tents from? It was this inn that rented all that stuff for us. The actual spot is just a few kropocs from here" he explains, using the old Yale word for measuring distance on purpose.

"Wow, I had no idea it was here. I was blindfolded after all. It was really a once in a lifetime experience. All that and then… ". Both the lovers fell silent again, both remembering how it all actually had started. And about everything that happened after that day. She feels the familiar burn in her heart, she cant think about those things again, not here, not now when she has to leave in the morning. She tries to steer the talk to other direction. "You partied all night then? If you didn't sleep?" she asks, remembering what kind of party goer he used to be. "Eh, no" he chuckles, "I actually went to my tent quite early. Didn't really feel like partying"

"We you nervous about the next days festivities then? Or why..,.?", she doesn't really want to remember it all, and at the same time she wants to. Soon it all will be memory and she just can´t forget. "No I wasn't, not about the event… rather about someone... A certain brunette kept me awake. I spent the whole night thinking about you.", he says quietly, hand still playing with her hair. He takes a deep unsteady breath. "You had this foreign effect on me and I was trying to fathom what it was and why I couldn't stop it. And what in hell was happening to me. I didn't understand it until later". She suddenly sits up, she needs space to breath, she cant touch him, not now. This is not the talk she is comfortable with.

"Logan, let's not talk, it will just make things harder. Please don't." She tries to escape his arms but he holds her firmer a while. But then he lets go, he has never wanted to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. She crawls to the other end of the bed and sits with her back towards him. She just can't look at him now. He pauses for a minute to catch his thoughts. "I have to tell you, make sure you know... We can´t leave things like this, Rory. I don't want to spent the rest of my life thinking what might have been if we had talked. Please?" He begs her, with a hoarse voice and a heavy heart. She gives up and lays down again, not daring to look at him.

"It was the night before I fell in love with you. It took me awhile to understand what I felt. But it was here it happened, when you took that jump with me. And I never really fell out of love, Rory, I've never found anyone who could compete with you and with what we had. It is you, it will always be you. You're my heart and soul, Rory." He feels dizzy, having finally said all those things he was not allowed to say in years. She just lays there, her back towards him and eyes shut. _"Breath girl, breath_ ", she thinks, and tries to calm herself. Words are failing her, so she doesn't say a thing. " _Why are you saying this now, you wanted to move on!"_

"Don't you love me anymore, Ace? Not at all? Has it been just for fun this last year?" He has to know, even if it will break his heart to know. His voice sounds so hurt and broken it almost makes her tell him the truth. Instead, she says: "I do love you, your are my best friend and my rock, but I cant give you more than what we have had this last year. I want you to be happy but I can´t be that girl". She tries to explain, tries to push him away without stumping on his heart too much. She understands that he knows what she is not saying as he tells her: "You know I would leave it all if you just asked, Rory" he says and turns to his side to spoon her.

"I need you to let me go" she finally says after a long silence. She can almost hear his heart braking all over again. It all breaks her heart too, having to send the love of her life to another woman. " _This is the right thing to do_ " she assures herself, " _he is my sun and my moon but I can´t be the wife he needs_ ". She doesn't say it aloud though, knowing that if she did he wouldn't let her push him away. She loves him too much for that. She can´t ask him to leave everything for her. He tries to take long comforting breaths, trying to take her scent in enough to last a lifetime. _"I´m the one who loves the most, I must be the strong one to let her go"_ he thinks, but that thought doesn't give him any comfort.

"Make love to me one more time" she asks him, now daring to look into those expressive eyes. And when they do, it is like homecoming and farewell at once. After, they both fall to restless sleep. As the first rays of sun wakes her up, she wiggles away from his arms, walks to the bench by the window and watches sun rise over that field that started it all.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Takes place at the Inn, in the morning. A short one, sorry for that.**

At the Inn, part 2

He leans a bit closer to her, wordlessly asking for a final kiss. He has always let her make the first move, never asking for more than she is ready to give. She kisses him softly, once, twice, before pulling back. "I guess your days of saving me are over", she says, her voice determined and sad at the same time. He can't reply with nothing but the truth that brakes his heart over and over again. "You never needed saving, Ace". She has always taken care of herself, staying free and independent. "I do know that now" she replies, and his heart aches for her to need him. But she doesn't. He steps back, he must get out soon or he can't take it anymore. He takes her hat and puts it on, fixes her hair falling on her flushed cheeks. Few more final caresses and that is it. He lifts his hands and takes a good look at her through a frame. Takes a moment to save all the small details of her face into his memory. A picture to last a lifetime. He forces a tight smile on his face. _I'll be alright, don't worry about me._ And then he simply turns around and walks out.

She holds her breath until she hears the door close. She slumps down onto the sofa, trying to take deep breaths. _"I'll think about it tomorrow",_ she reminds herself, _"I just need to make it home"._ A few moments later she hears a car arrive, and seconds after that she is embraced by her oldest friend. "Come, let's get you home", Lane whispers.

They get into the car, Lane is throwing junk and half eaten sandwiches to the back seat. "It's a family car, I'm sorry about the mess", she explains, but Rory is too tired to care. Lane turns the car around and heads south. Neither of them sees an old man in a young man's body watching after them.

After only a short drive they spot a tall man waving by the street in front of a restaurant. Rory gulps visibly but asks Lane to stop for a while. There is one more thing she has to do.

Rory unbuckles her seatbelt and gets up to wobbly feet. She leans on to the car and greets the man. "Hi Finn. I think Logan is still up there, I guess.." She is interrupted by pissed Finn. "Did that fucking coward tell you? Or do I have to tell it to you for him? I am not letting you guys quit this like this. I just won't.. He wants you, he must have told you!". It's Rory's time to interrupt him. "Finn, just listen please? He did say that. But it's more complicated. I must let him go. He wants to move on, but he is just stuck. Don't be angry at him." She is fighting tears and he can't stop himself. "Rory. Love. Why are you doing this? You do love him too, I know you do. I don't understand the two of you". he pleads. "I just can't be what he needs, Finn. I'm letting him go. Can you make me a favor, a one last thing?". She can't look at him, she just stares the open door of the car and bites her lip.

"Anything, Love", Finn sighs. "Can you please look after him? Make sure he'll be okay. I know he has... _her_... But you look after him for me, will you?" "Of course, Love. Do you have someone too? I don't want you to be alone now", Finn asks, given in. "Yeah, Lane is here. I'll be OK, someday. Goodbye, Finn", she kisses his cheek without looking at him in the eye and gets into the car. She takes a deep unsteady breath and nods to Lane. "Let's go".

She sobs all the way to Stars Hollow.


	4. Chapter 4 - Chris

**AN: a new chapter is here! I made a small change to the first chapter - it was of course Colin that got his knee hurt, not Robert. Sorry for that.**

She wakes up early on Monday from a sofa, with a hit to her head, as Lane's kids are playing living room ice hockey using a teddy bear and some drum sticks. She gets up and leaves for work. She decides to keep busy. It's the best cure for a heartbreak, they say, all the glossy magazines women turn advice to. Coffee to go from Luke's, the short walk to Gazette, some furious typing, a quick trip to Dooses´s for some lunch and back to work. She calls Emily and moves to the Hartford house, as they are still not talking with her mom.

Days drag. A routine forms. Work, get home, wallow, sleep.

After work she usually gets a takeaway dinner and then works on her book (the early years) until she is too tired to sit up. Some other nights she watches a Buffy marathon in full wallow like a Gilmore style. Around 11pm she is ready - a short shower, brushing of teeth and then to bed. It´s dark, and she is finally still and quiet and then it hits her. She has lost him for good. To avoid thinking about the same things over and over again she writes down a note. "He wanted to move on. You should too". She reads it every time a "what if" crosses her mind. Which is often. She repeats the Scarlet O'Hara mantra in her mind until she drifts to uneasy sleep. _"I'll think about it tomorrow".  
_  
She tries her very best to let go, but is unaware of a tiny someone else fighting to hold on. While she tears her heart to pieces and cuts all the strings and ties to him, new stronger ties are being created just a foot or two below her heart.

See feels more lonely than ever. So she does what a child does at times of distress – goes home in the middle of the night. She has a mid night snack with mom and she gives her mum the first chapters of her story to read. Anxious for acceptance, Rory asks Lorelai to read it and give her blessing or else she won't finish it. She can't cope with living alone now, so she returns home and gives up.

Three weeks later she is having a rare brunch with Lane. It's Wednesday, three days before her mother's wedding. Lane's kids and Zach are out, and the two life long friends have time for a talk. She doesn't want to talk a lot, but luckily Lane hasn't been out much and needs to vent about Zack's dirty socks on the floor and the kid's constant fighting. Lane tells her about the "oh shit I forgot" in the bedroom and the relief afterwards when there weren't any consequences. And suddenly she can't breath. She is late, at least a week late. She excuses herself and runs to her car. She drives all the way to Hartford to a pharmacy and buys 3 different sets of tests.

She gets home without anyone noticing, turns right and locks the bathroom door. With shaky hands she tears open a foil packet, takes the strip and a disposable plastic cup and pees in it. Dips the strip in and sits down. 3 minutes. That's enough time to turn ones life upside down. The lines form well before the time is up.

She manages to get into her room and falls down to the bed. "This can't be happening!" She feels like she is not in her own body, she hears Luke and Lorelai talk in the living room but can't concentrate to their words. _"It could be a fake positive, right?"_ , she thinks and isn't sure wether she should be relieved or disappointed. She paces around the room and tries to think.

She finally decides she needs to call a doctor. She picks up the phone and makes the call and takes a long breath before the nurse answers. "Woodland Women's Health Associates, how can I help you?", a nurse answers and she just can't say the words. Probably the nurse is accustomed to people shying away as she repeats the question with more warmth to it. "Oh hey, eh I may need to see a doctor. It seems that I'm a bit late and eh I took a test and it's positive but surely it's a false alarm right, it happens doesn't it? So maybe I just came and see that I'm not", she rambles quietly, trying to not let the others know. "Hey, there is a cancellation, could you make it already today? You sound like you need to talk about this? Would it be possible to come right now?", the nurse replies with empathetic voice. "Yes, I`m free today", she answers. "So I'll book you for today at three, yes?" "Thats fine, three o'clock, bye!", Rory replies nodding and tosses the phone into her purse.

She can't slip out since Lorelai and Luke are in the living room making some last minute decisions about the wedding. She excuses herself and runs to her car. She almost forgets her purse on her way out, since the only thing she has on her mind is to get to the doctor as fast as possible and have a confirmation to the false alarm and get this over with. Her mom rambles something odd about Sutherland but she just can't listen.

Two hours later she sits on a bench in a park. Her phone is in her hand and she can't stop reading old texts from Logan. She almost presses 'call' on his name but finally decides otherwise. She scrolls up and makes a call. There is a talk she has wanted to have for years and she knows that the talk must happen before the word is out about her pregnancy.

"Hey dad, it's Rory"  
"Well hey Kiddo, what's up?"  
"I'm just in the neighborhood and thought I could pay you a visit, are you free to see me?"  
"Sure thing, I'm actually still at the office. You could stop by right now? "  
"OK, I'll be there in few minutes"  
"Great, it'll be good to see you!"  
"Bye then"  
"Bye"

She enters her dad's office simultaneously with Chris, who had run to pick up some coffee from a Deli. They greet a bit awkwardly and walk to his office.

"Coffee here sucks. I had to go three blocks to get this." _Always the best for his little girl._ "This is the biggest size they had, huh?" she asks, raising the cup. "It's good to see you, kiddo", Chris answers.

"Thanks for squeezing me in…", she says. "I always have time for you", Chris answers and she almost snorts. " _Yeah right",_ Rory thinks, but doesn't say anything aloud. "So, new office?", she asks, looking around in the large room. "Yes, the cave", Chris says waving his hand. "The cave?", she asks, since it doesn't look like a cave with big windows and light walls. "I call it the cave 'cause I caved. I'm working in the family biz." Chris explains. "It looks good on you. New suit, sitting behind that desk" Rory says, trying to enlighten the atmosphere. "Knife to the heart, kid. Knife to the heart." Family business was never Chris's first choice and Rory knows that. She asks a few questions about her half sister and Chris's current spouse and Chris asks about how she is doing. She is upset, sad and lost and hasn't got a clue what to answer. "Me? I'm five by five." "What?" Chris is just as lost as she is. "Oh uh, sorry, it's, uh I was watching a Buffy marathon and some things stick." She tries to lead the conversation to someone else than herself. It's too early for serious stuff.

She walks to the other end of the room. The big windows somehow remind her of the windows at the Inn. She tells him about Lorelais wedding and kind of asks him to stay away. Every time Lorelai has gotten her life in order, Chris has found his way back to them and things have fallen apart. Rory doesn't want that to happen this time. But Chris doesn't let her derail him for too long.

She sits back down and he goes with the direct question, something that works with both Gilmore girls actually. He asks about how she is really doing and she explains to him about "journalism really not panning out" and about her plans to write a book, and almost snorts when he asks if she needed money. " _I may have more than I can use in a lifetime."_ She tells her briefly about the book and finally has the confidence to ask the question she came here to ask. "How did you feel about Mom raising me alone?" She blunts out the question that has been bugging her since she was a kid. He doesn't really answer, somehow he makes it be about Lorelai and not about Chris. He says he wasn't consulted, that Lorelai did what she wanted. They were so young and Lorelai so sure about herself, he reminds her. There was nothing he could do, it was how it was supposed to be and plaah plaah plaah. After a while she notices him glancing his computer nervously and excuses herself. Her father has always better things to do.


	5. Chapter 5 - Dean and Jess

**AN: and yet another chapter. I think we´ll have only 2 or three more and that´s it. I have it all written already, it just needs a bit editing and proofreading. In this chapter we are at Thursday and Friday, 1-2 days before the "the end". During the very last days of AYITL Rory is meeting the most important people in her story. We already met Chris - now it is Dean and Jess. The latter being only in my imagination, we did not see it on screen. But I´m sure they didn't spend time in the same house without talking to eachothers, so here we go...**

Thursday

She has been tossing and turning all night. The talk with her father didn't really make things easier for her. She almost called Logan several times but chickened out every time. She finally decided not to call until she would know what she wants. She did get some answers though. Rory had always wondered, what was causing the lack of communication and interest from Chris in her childhood. Didn't her father want to be there? Did her mum somehow keep him away? They never had had real conversation about it. Their communication was always polite and friendly but never honest and sincere. He was never the father she wanted to have. Maybe there some truth in Emily's words. She used to call Chris a weak man. Maybe it was that simple. Maybe he just didn't know how to be a dad, or how to make himself available for her. She can't help but compare her situation to the one over 30 years ago. Chris said they had been so young, both of them. He said Lorelai was so sure of herself and knew what she wanted. She realises that if she had gotten pregnant at 16, things might have been the same. But she is not exactly young anymore, neither is Logan. And she for sure is not sure about herself.

At lunch she runs to Doose`s again, while her phone rings. Her heart plunges at the thought of him calling her. But it's just Lorelai. "Hey mum, what's up?" she answers a bit out of breath. "Could you please pick me up something from the store? I don't have time, since Michel decided to continue to interview the candidates today of all days, what was he thinking? I'm busy as hell even without babysitting him!" "Sure, I'm on my way to get something too. I'm moving. I have a million things I need to do today as well. I'm here. What am I looking for?" Lorelai guides her to find white safety pins and knows exactly where they are in the shelf. The cosiness and familiarity of living in a small town hits her. Her mom knows Doose`s selection better than the contents of her own hand bag. She finds the pins and closes the phone and the next thing she knows she runs into someone's back.

"Oh, sorry", she mumbles before noticing who the person is. "Oh! Hey! Well, well, well, of all the gin joints in all the world", a familiar voice surprises her. Even if she is friends on Facebook with Dean and they chat from time to time, they haven't really met in years. The warm connection is still there, the innocent spark is not, but it feels familiar nevertheless. It's the kind of friendship there is, where you simply start from where you ended, even if there are years in the between. They exchange some pleasantries and he tells her about his family. Without realising it they both start to mimic each others expressions and speak in the same tune.

"Oh, man."

"Within 24 hours, all three kids had everything. It's ugly, man. Jenny told me to save myself while I could."

"She's a saint."

"She's pregnant."

"Again?"

"It's really boring in Scranton."

"Man, your house is gonna be loud."

"I know."

"That's so great."

"I know."

"Congrats."

She tells Dean about her book. He wants to know if he'll be in it and what will she write about him. She remembers their years together and everything that happened. She tells him how safe she felt with him and that she would write him being the greatest boyfriend alive. They both are feeling nostalgic and sad and when he turns to wave goodbye, she notices she is standing by the same aisle than years before. She waves a packet of corn starch and he remembers too. "Pay for it this time", he winks before exiting the shop.

She spends the evening at Dragonfly, celebrating Lorelai's bachelorette party with some friends and townspeople. Even Sookie made it, and she is delighted to see her. She enjoyed the night and all the treats Sookie had baked, but her mind is somewhere else. She thinks about safety and the feeling of being protected, and about Logan and her decision and everything. She knows what will happen if she tells him, but is she the one staying away or not?

Friday

And finally it's Friday. The day before the wedding. The Gilmore house is crowded, her mom is driving her crazy with last minute changes. Around midday she sneaks out and heads down to the lake. A quiet place to think, she assumes. As she approaches the pier, she sees a familiar figure. She walks slowly to him and sits down next to him.

"So you've made peace with the swans around here, did you", she teases and he gives her that trademark smirk. "Ha ha, very funny. What are you doing here, I thought your mum had all day planned out", Jess asks. "I have had a lot in my mind lately. Just needed a break from all the hysteria", Rory says. They chat for a while about the party the next day, while Jess is trying to figure out what is bugging her. Her chin is up and she has that look in her eyes, which usually means something is wrong. "How are you really, Rory?"

She doesn't answer him at first but then gives in. "My life is a mess. Everything I have ever hoped, that I have worked on, is falling apart. I don't know what to do with anything really", she admits. He doesn't say anything, he just sits there and waits her to go on. Finally she tells him everything. About how her career went downhill, about how she saw Logan in Hamburg, everything about that stupid Vegas deal, about her insecurities and him wanting to move on, and then, finally, about the baby. "I know nothing about babies! I have zero experience, I'm bound to fail! I tried to read some blogs and articles about childrearing and it all just sounds so hard! "

"So you are keeping it?", he has to ask. "I went to see a doctor yesterday. I wasn't sure before but then they did a scan and I saw the embryo... It's still tiny but I saw it and I can't... I'm terrified but I know I'm keeping it. "

"Rory, you'll have time to figure it out. There is a reason why it takes nine months", Jess tries to reassure her. "There are just some many things to consider! According to those blogs and YouTube channels you have to – and I quote (1) - _`make sure your children's academic, emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, physical, nutritional and social needs are met, while being careful not to over stimulate, under stimulate, improperly medicate, Helicopter,"_ , she pauses for a second to catch a breath, " _Or neglect them in a screen free, processed food free, GMO free, negative energy free plastic free, body positive, socially conscious, egalitarian but also authoritative, nurturing but fostering of independence, gentle but not overly permissive, pesticide free two-story, multilingual home preferably in a cul-de-sac with backyard and 1.5 siblings spaced at least two years apart for proper development, and also don't forget the coconut oil!_ ´ What the fuck do you do with coconut oil anyway? It smells awful! And..." She had closed her eyes while rambling so she didn't see Jess laughing hysterically. "Rory you'll be fine! Just feed It sometimes!". "uh I'm not so sure about that, Jess. I'm already failing on a few categories. I haven't even told him yet.", she admits. A silence falls. Rory stares at her feet and Jess stares Rory with disbelief.

"You will though, right? You'll have to tell him, you know that! Don't you remember how hard the whole April thing hit Luke. Don't be an anna, Rory.", Jess pleads. "I know I should. But we ended it. I'm not sure if he'll...". Rory doesn't want to finish her thought. "He wanted to move on and I had to let him", she finishes with a heavy sigh.

"Did you end it together or was it just about you running away like you always do?" he asks. Rory looks up to Jess and narrows her eyes. "What?! I do not run!", she shouts. "Oh yes you do. You are a runner. Takes one to know one, Ror", he says. "You are a runner. You run away from Yale when things got hard. You run away from me on the streets of Hollow when I wanted to talk to you. You have run away from Lorelai in more than one occasion. And now you have done the ultimate runaway from him, but you just need to stop doing that. Trust me, I know. I don't want you to repeat the mistakes many of us have done too many times. Just call him, Rory." Jess stoods up a bit agitated and heads towards the town. Rory stays seated for a long time before she reaches her phone from the purse and starts typing.


	6. Chapter 6

_Logan,_  
 _I'm just starting to write this letter without really knowing where it will end and whether I ever press send. There is something big, or actually still tiny but it will be big eventually, that I have to tell you about, and I really don't know how to say it. I hope you are alone and seated before you read any further._

 _So here it goes, without any other intro: I'm pregnant. Due in June. It's yours and I'm keeping it. I've known about this only for a few days. I've seen a doctor already, and there was a scan. It's still tiny but doing just fine. After seeing that tiny blib I see no other option than to have it. I think this is my fault, I was supposed to change my IUD last spring but then I must have forgotten about it. That I'm sorry about, but after the first shock, I'm not sorry this is happening. I am nervous and worried about all of this, but I don't see any other option than to have it._

 _That being said, the ball is on your court. It's up to you what happens next. You know I don't need you to save me. You can be in or out, your call._

 _There is still one thing I guess I have to tell you. I talked with a friend and he pointed out something I can't stop thinking about. He said I'm a runner. That I run away from things that matter to me, as soon as things get tough. I guess he is right._

 _I'm not sure where you stand. I used to know what you are thinking only by just looking at you, but it's been so long since we were honest to each other. I am not sure if I've lost my touch. Maybe you really do want to marry her and move on. Maybe what you said to me that last night was just a spur of a moment thing or nostalgia or afterthoughts or whatever. That's what I thought it was, at the time. We never said those things, not during Vegas anyway. So why would you say it then, only months after you decided to ask her to move in with you?_

 _I don't know what it was, and why you said those things. But I guess I'm not losing anything by telling you where I stand. I'm not asking you to change your plans after you hear this, but I don't think we'll ever succeed with co-parenting unless I'm honest to you._

 _And I will always love you,em no matter what happens next. I've had a few relationships since we parted the last time, but you set the bar quite high and nothing since you has been quite as good. I'm not saying I'll never be happy without you, but something would always be lacking. This hasn't changed. I never told you this because I just didn't believe we would have a real change, and you were seeing her, and I thought I didn't have the right to. It's easy to think I should have been more clear about what you mean to me, but you can't change the past. If I could I would rewind back to my graduation day, but sadly I can't._

 _I've been to more job interviews that I can remember. They ask the same question every time. "Where do you see yourself in five years?" My answer to this one has changed several times lately. Last summer I thought that in five years I would be still freelancing, traveling there and forth and not having a steady home. I didn't really see anything else happening. I wasn't happy but I didn't see a way out. I was seeing you and we were both seeing other people, and I just couldn't make myself to admit my feelings to anyone – me myself included. I just thought we could live in an eternal carpe diem moment, and not make any decisions, ever. I was so wrong._

 _And then you two moved in together and I had to leave you. It broke my heart but I had to do it. I promised to myself after that fiasco with Dean that I would never break a home again. I was so proud of myself that I managed to stop Vegas. And now things have changed and I'm once again clueless._

 _Now I don't know what to answer to that question. Or actually I do. I see two totally different scenarios. The one that I think will happen and the one I hope will happen._

 _I think I will live in Hallow. Write books and raise the child by myself, if everything should work out with pregnancy. Maybe I'll live in the apartment upstairs from Luke's, as it is free now. Eventually I'd find someone to share my life with. Maybe you'd visit us every now and then, like Chris did in my childhood. Impress the kid with fancy gifts and trips sometimes. It wouldn't be all bad, that was what my childhood was like and look at me now..._

 _And then there is the scenario I hope and dream will happen. That maybe you meant what you said and she was just a second choice for you. Maybe you would run to get me now. We would work it all out and raise our kid together. Your parents would hate me but we'd be happy. Really ridiculously happy._

 _Or maybe not. Maybe the first scenario is more likely. I claim I have my feet in the ground, but too often my mind makes up these stupid romantic ideas..._

 _So I guess I have told you everything now. It's up to you what will happen next. I want you to know that I'll be fine whatever you'll decide. If it's her you want, then go and be happy with her. That's all I want for you. And if not, you know where to find me._

 _R_

* * *

She reads the email multiple times and hesitates over the send -button. Suddenly the swans freak out over a loud bang coming from the town square and Kirk's yelling after Petal, and the birds start fuss around, squawking loudly. This causes Rory to almost drop her phone and to accidentally press a button. She looks after the flock of birds flying eastwards and hears the sound of outgoing message. "Oh shit, not yet!", she swears. In full panic mode she tries to find a way to undo the sending but it's too late. The birds are on their way, the cat is out and there nothing she can do but wait.

* * *

It's Friday afternoon. After the talk at the pier and a the email, Rory and Lorelai had been at the Inn preparing for the big day tomorrow. They notice something is left to the house and return to get it. The girls are having pop tarts in the kitchen, and talking about random stuff, as Lorelai steps up. She gives her the draft of Rory's story and tells her to finish it any way she sees fit.

Lorelai walks out of kitchen to take care of something and leaves Rory to contemplate what her mum just did. Rory is a bit shocked, but happy. Her mum has the tendency to think she knows best. It's not like Lorelai has made Rory do things she doesn't want to do by force, but Lorelai has always been strong minded and decisive, and Rory too soft and in need of acceptance to write her own story. Ever since implanting the idea of Harvard to a mind of a three year old, Lorelai has thought she knows best what is Rory's path. And now, after all these years, her job is done and she has decided to trust Rory to do what she wants. Her thoughts are interrupted by a sound of an incoming WhatsApp message. She runs to her room and tosses the contents of her purse on the bed and with shaky hands grabs her phone.

 _I'm at Heathrow, boarding in a minute. Coming to get you. I guess it is my turn to get saved. Will be there in the morning. L. PS. I meant every word._

She can't stop jumping up and down. She has a stupid grin on her face as her mum enters the room. "What is it? Good news about the job? Go tell Jess good night as he is leaving", Lorelai says and is back in her own mode, telling her child to say bye to a guest. Rory runs to the door, wanting to tell Jess about the message and that everything will work out, but then she sees Luke and comes up with a excuse. "The first three chapters!" she screams and jumps up and down again. She gets back inside, tries to calm down, takes care of Kirk suffering from stress induced migraine, and misses Jess giving her that final glimpse through the window. _Good bye, Ror. Be happy._

* * *

The two Gilmore Girls sit on the gazebo steps. Luke had gone to walk Paul Anka and all the guests of the midnight party have gone back home to get some sleep before the actual wedding. Sun is rising and the air is cold and crispy. Lorelai is tired but overly happy, and Rory is nervously checking her phone every few minutes. She has texted him her whereabouts this morning, and she knows she is running out of time. She needs to have that talk with Mom before he gets there.

"Now that I'm a married lady, you should be one, too. You are of age. Then we could do married-lady things together." Lorelai says with a smirk and looks at her. "What are married-lady things?" she asks, trying to hide a smile. To herself she thinks that she doesn't really have a clue what it will be like.

"I don't know, like, uh dyeing our hair blue or buying pork chops. Bowling? I'm out."

"I don't know.", she hesitates. _I might be living across the pond._ "I thought I'd be the spinster daughter who stays home and looks after Mama." _Little did I know.._

Lorelai teases her with people to marry her with, but all she can think of is how things have changed in so little time. Suddenly there is a sound of incoming message. She quickly grabs her phone and to her disappointment it is not from the person she is waiting for but someone she keeps forgetting exists. "Rory, due to our ever-conflicting schedules, I think we should break up. Take care, Paul." she reads aloud. "Who? I can't believe how I treated him. I suck!" she says, with conflict of regret and relief.

"No, you don't. It didn't fit. It needs to fit. Believe me. He'll find someone amazing one day.", Lorelai tries to console her. She is starting to feel all those emotions at the same time: she is sad to leave, eager to meet him and nervous about telling the truth to her mum. "Yeah.", she manages, trying to fight tears. Lorelai seems to think she is upset about getting dumbed by Pete. _She has no idea_ , Rory thinks. _Never had._

"And so will you. Hey. What's going on in there?" Lorelai asks, as Rory is looking around the square, remembering all the familiar places she loves. Luke's, the library, High School, Lanes home, her mum beside her.

"I wanna remember it all. Every detail. Mom?" She looks nervously at her mum and realises she is looking at her the last time as a child.

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant." _And I think I will be moving to London._

Her mum stares her, shocked and speechless. She gives her an apoplectic smile, gets up, walks down the stairs and runs to that grey luxury car waiting for her. _It definitely fits_ , she thinks as she finally reaches his arms.

 **The end.**

* * *

AN: There were few things about the revival that made me think of this story - Rory´s and Jess´s scene at the porch (that was quite a mood swing from that kitchen scene, something must have happened in the between I reckon), how Rory was absolutely wracked and lost when she talked to Chris but seemed more content and somehow at peace later on, and at last, that one and only grey car around town square (there were really no other cars around but one, and I´m sure Taylor was sure to tow all the cars away like he used to). Of course this is wishful thinking, but as we know, this is just fan fiction, and we can twist the story a bit, right :)


End file.
